Tag Archives: Stupid

Getting the gears rolling…

I haven’t written here in lightyears! Initially, I thought I’d keep a blog while I go off to different worlds. But I’ve been to the UAE, Oman, Qatar, Italy, Japan… and I haven’t posted a thing on “FindingMyJaninay”!!!

But, oh, what adventures I’ve been having! Nothing glamorous. But luxury doesn’t really appeal to me, anyway.

It’s immersion. It’s the constant observation. Reflection. Frustration. Enlightenment. Losing. Finding. Building. Breaking. Such is life and work and travel!!!

A few things… http://www.FindingMyJaninay.com has expired because, well, I let it! Haha! And since I’m not reliable enough to maintain the blog, I’ll just stick to the plain wordpress site: http://www.FindingMyJaninay.wordpress.com

Second, I need to freaking write my articles for work but it’s just soooo harddd to get started which is why I’m doing this instead. HAY. Procrastination is the best motivation for anything but the things you’re supposed to be doing. HAHAHA.

Lastly, I should write here more often. Any time I have a thought… I actually have loads! I have ideas for what to write and they’re all in my head or outlined in a notebook or sumn sumn. So I should get at it. 🙂 I SHALL. I have time later this week once I wrap up my report for work. YEAY!

Third, I’m leaving Japan in 5 days. And it’s bittersweet. I quite like it here (said with British accent and pinky up). I guess I should write about that, too.

*bow*

“This is madness.”

One of the most wonderful people I know, Misha, suggested I watch this documentary by BBC. It’s about a bus driver from London who goes to Manila with a challenge to become a jeepney driver by the end of the trip – DRIVE A JEEP ALONE IN MANILA (Siya pa nanunukli)! He lives with Rogelio (a jeepney driver) and his family and learns, firsthand, how tough it is to live in our country.

I cried. And cried again. The world is anything but fair. I urge you, if you have a little less than an hour, to watch the docu below – The Toughest Place To Be A Bus Driver. You can watch it now or later. But I assure you, it is not a waste of time. My thoughts and frustrations are below.

I will write about 2 things. You may read one and not the other. Or not read at all. But I’m hoping you read both! :p

Road Rage

I, too, drive through the streets of Metro Manila. I confess that I do scream, curse, and lash-out (in the confines of my car) at pedestrians and other drivers on the road, most specially jeepney and bus drivers. In these moments, I feel I live in a place that is the epitome of inconsideration. And, against all my better judgment, I get sucked into the bandwagon.

Inconsideration, in my opinion, is an extremely huge problem in our society. I’ve always believed that if people were more considerate of each other, lines would move faster, traffic would ease up, mall-wide sales wouldn’t give me a migraine, and stress levels of most everyone when outside the confines of their home would decrease.

But where does this come from? Why can’t most people think of anyone but themselves?

I guess the true questions is, “How can one be considerate when one’s mind is on survival mode? Can I feed my family today?”

Inconsideration stems from this dog-eat-dog world, the reality of day-to-day survival.

What happens to my road rage now? It’s so much easier to be angry, curse at faceless strangers and not care. But how can you be angry knowing what these people come home to? … Knowing they’re stuck in a vicious cycle of suffering they can never get out of?

Rage turns to sorrow.

Life. To live. It is more than just physical survival.

To understand this rant, you’ll have to watch the documentary… Or just keep in mind that millions of Filipinos live in the slums, in their makeshift homes. Many are young married couples with 12-13 children.

How can one truly value life but accept the condition in which so many Filipinos are living?

How can one value life and accept that people eat recooked rotting food from the trash if they eat anything at all?

How can one that values life be OK with bringing a new life into this world only to starve, suffer, and have nothing but survival in mind?

How can one value truth but withhold readily available information, that is common knowledge to most educated people, from the less fortunate with less access?

How can one be against the RH Bill? I really CANNOT understand. What are you afraid of?

More abortion cases? Please explain to me how this happens with less cases of unwanted pregnancy.

Are you afraid that our country will have a problem of underpopulation like other developed countries? Oh my goodness. Do you really think that it’s as easy as the simplest cause-effect equation? There are so many factors that will contribute to that future possibility. Besides, if you have people that value having a family, this will not happen. I am aware of most all methods of contraception but I still want to have my own children one day… When I can actually sustain them financially and emotionally. Values formation and valuing the family as the basic unit of society can be taught and developed.

Please help me understand… Because my brain can’t seem to wrap itself around this.

What kind of person would think that a young married woman living in a makeshift box with 13 (THIRTEEN!) children and barely anything to eat is wrong for taking measures to prevent any more pregnancies?

Would you condemn her to hell? Isn’t she already living there?

I don’t want to write.

I don’t want to write.

There are so many other things I can do besides write.

I can finish Season 3 of True Blood.

I can play Diablo 3.

I can read a book.

I can stare at the ceiling.

I can eat.

I can play with my dog.

I can exercise.

I can wander aimlessly through my endless mind.

I can get trapped in the inter webs.

Ok. I won’t write then… Wait. I already did.

*facepalm*

Stopping now.

Showering Kite Thoughts

“So tired of living like a kite.”

A magnificent sky welcomes me home.
(MyJaninay on Instagram)

Such strange things, these kites are.You watch them from the ground and see them swaying about in the air as if dancing with the breeze. They look so peaceful and graceful, fluttering about.

But allowing a warm shower to get those gears in my head turning has helped me draw a curious conclusion – that, assuming kites were conscious, they must be extremely frustrated. (I would be.)

You’re in flight, yes. You see it all. You feel and hear the wind pushing you up. But what keeps you up? What keeps you there?

The wind pushing against a tugging string holds you in a constant state of limbo. There is so much tension involved – the wind and a tugging man at odds.

It’s the fight that keeps you in flight.

And from that statement, I can go on and on about how life could be a constant fight and about my constant dreams of just letting go and letting the wind take me wherever…

But I shall cut myself free from that tension and listen to the song that got me thinking of kites in the first place.

The High Highs – Open Season