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Un cat ego riz ed

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for the wonderful people around me that teach me love, care, openness, compassion, and patience.I am thankful for all the opportunities that have come my way and all that I’ve learned in seizing them.

I am thankful for the people that have pushed me to become better, have believed in my potential, and have helped sharpen this dull pencil.
I am not thankful for a world where persecution, discrimination, bigotry, and hate exists.

I am not thankful for the genocide and murder that persists.

I am not thankful for poverty, war, injustice, greed, selfishness, inhumanity…
I will, however, forever be thankful for the chance to do something about it, however puny my contribution may be.

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Getting the gears rolling…

I haven’t written here in lightyears! Initially, I thought I’d keep a blog while I go off to different worlds. But I’ve been to the UAE, Oman, Qatar, Italy, Japan… and I haven’t posted a thing on “FindingMyJaninay”!!!

But, oh, what adventures I’ve been having! Nothing glamorous. But luxury doesn’t really appeal to me, anyway.

It’s immersion. It’s the constant observation. Reflection. Frustration. Enlightenment. Losing. Finding. Building. Breaking. Such is life and work and travel!!!

A few things… http://www.FindingMyJaninay.com has expired because, well, I let it! Haha! And since I’m not reliable enough to maintain the blog, I’ll just stick to the plain wordpress site: http://www.FindingMyJaninay.wordpress.com

Second, I need to freaking write my articles for work but it’s just soooo harddd to get started which is why I’m doing this instead. HAY. Procrastination is the best motivation for anything but the things you’re supposed to be doing. HAHAHA.

Lastly, I should write here more often. Any time I have a thought… I actually have loads! I have ideas for what to write and they’re all in my head or outlined in a notebook or sumn sumn. So I should get at it. 🙂 I SHALL. I have time later this week once I wrap up my report for work. YEAY!

Third, I’m leaving Japan in 5 days. And it’s bittersweet. I quite like it here (said with British accent and pinky up). I guess I should write about that, too.

*bow*

On Cynthia Alexander and Guerrilla Tears

A guerrilla tear trailed down my cheek reminding me that great music can be overwhelming, specially live.

From raindrops and goodbyes to welcoming the ecstatic pains of motherhood

From the beauty of the present to our forgotten respect for this world

From strolling past a sleeping lake to mind-tripping and cyclical bike rides

Cynthia Alexander has written powerful music, piercing through my metal-plated armor.

I’m still clutching at the emotions stirred by tonight’s conspiracy… Hence the blogpost (which I may just post tomorrow, a day late).

Thank goodness for music, my favorite time-travel machine, taking me back to electric experiences like tonight.

HUGE sigh.

MyJaninay finding herself in Cynthia Alexander’s June 16, 2012 gig at Conspiracy.

A special thank you to Pochoy for taking me. I hear and feel so much more with you.

Cynthia Alexander in Conspiracy, 16 June 2012
“This is more than intimate,” she said.
Conspiracy was packed, inside and out. Everyone enjoying Cynthia’s pleasant company and exquisite music.
“Amoy High School!”
Cynthia’s brother, Joey Ayala, came in through the window armed with funny quips.
“Dumaan Ako” performed by the talented siblings
My keyhole view of Cynthia Alexander… before I decided to stand up. 😉

Get me out of me.

Imagine if you saw yourself as you see your character in an RPG game.

There’s a reason why most games show characters from a 3rd person perspective – WoW and Diablo, SIMS… Even racing games!

I remember my Dad telling me it’s easier playing those racing games in a 3rd person view. He said you can see how the car reacts to everything so you know whether you’re too fast, braking too early or too late.

Same goes for characters in the other games I mentioned, even those I didn’t. You see how your character moves. You’ll catch the things you’re doing wrong; see things you’re doing right.

I’d imagine life would be easier if I could choose a 3rd person view.

I’d probably realize more quickly when I’m saying something out of line or doing something stupid. I’d like to see my face, not JUST to make sure I look good (Hehe), but to make sure my facial expressions don’t reveal negative thoughts and emotions like anger, annoyance, distaste, or utter disgust… Not unless I want them out in the open. :p

Plus, it might make it easier for people to come to terms with how they look physically. Maybe you’ll be forced to accept how you look since you’re seeing yourself constantly… Maybe it’ll be easier to accept yourself AND motivate yourself to be healthier.

There’ll be no need for mirrors to remind you to lose weight, brush your hair, or get more sleep.

And I think that it would help me prevent loads of foot-in-mouth and face-palm moments.

BUTTTTT…

I don’t really need that 3rd person view option.

That may make it easier… But it isn’t the only way.

I can just work work work to take my self out of myself. Think think think that though I do have thoughts, those thoughts are plagued with my own perspective and are oh too subjective.

It’s a constant struggle to stay open to other people’s new discoveries and thoughts and opinions… But to be a good human being, I believe that’s a necessary struggle. And a blissful one – not the happy-laughy-type-of-joy but the deeper kind.

So many seem trapped in their own viewpoint forgetting that a mind has the ability to step out.

AYAYAY.

My ramblings.

I don’t want to write.

I don’t want to write.

There are so many other things I can do besides write.

I can finish Season 3 of True Blood.

I can play Diablo 3.

I can read a book.

I can stare at the ceiling.

I can eat.

I can play with my dog.

I can exercise.

I can wander aimlessly through my endless mind.

I can get trapped in the inter webs.

Ok. I won’t write then… Wait. I already did.

*facepalm*

Stopping now.

Heart And Seoul

Ja-Bin in Korea!

(Unedited Version of my Myx Mag Article)

I was in complete awe of Korea and in utter disbelief that I was sent there for work – to shoot a total of 9 shows and interview 2NE1’s Dara. It’s a remarkable place with breathtaking sights and, literally, breath-taking weather (It reached NEGATIVE 6 degrees one night!). As soon as VJ Robin and I stepped out of the plane, we were greeted by a waft of cold air that made me thankful for my scarf and beret… and Robin – regretful to have nothing but his t-shirt on (with jeans, socks, shoes, and, hopefully, underwear on as well).

As soon as we saw Myeong Dong, which is the area we would call home for 2 nights, our eyes widened and we simultaneously uttered, “WOW.” I was told that Myeong Dong is like the Makati City of Seoul. But, honestly, it looked nothing like Makati. People sashayed in their fashionable winter clothes. Beautiful pastel-colored shops lined the narrow alleys like sweet eye candy for us adventurous VJs. With such a beautiful backdrop, we got to work on the special Korean episodes to be shown on Myx.

Aside from feeding our appetite for adventure, we also made the most out of every meal of the day (which included merienda and a midnight snack). We sampled as many Korean delicacies as we could. We feasted on Ginseng Chicken, Bulgogi, Bulgogi Burgers, various street foods, and my newly discovered Korean favorite – Budae-chigae. We were thrilled to discover that cold weather makes your body work harder to keep you warm, thus burning the extra calories we consumed… Or at least that’s what we told ourselves to justify our excessive food tripping.

But the trip to Korea wasn’t all about feasting and frolicking. Robin and I were there on a mission. Without a crew or any staff from Myx to guide us, we were tasked to return home with a successful interview with K-Pop Superstar Sandara Park. Armed with our video cameras, list of questions, and bundle of nerves, we made our way to Dara’s TV Commercial shoot for Etude House (www.etudehouse.ph).  Even before we met her, we were impressed at how professional she was during the shoot. Watching monitors from a separate room, we saw how her eyes lit up once the director said, “Action!”

All intimidation melted once we met the sweet and soft-spoken Dara. Inspite of her flawless beauty, she has an air of humility that was exceptionally endearing. Not to mention, she still seems very attached to the Philippines and us Filipinos. She could not hide how much she missed the country and all her fans and friends back in the Philippines. Plus, she expressed herself tremendously well in Filipino, to the utter disbelief of our tongue-tied-when-speaking-Filipino-VJ Robin.

A photo from my Interview with Sandara Park in Korea!

Meeting 2NE1’s Dara was definitely the highlight of my trip. With the precious interview footage safely in tow, Robin and I headed home to Manila with a newfound love for Seoul Korea but also a greater appreciation for home. After all, if a K-Pop Superstar who is set to be an international sensation is proud to have lived in the Philippines, continues to speak in our language, and clearly misses the country and its people… Shouldn’t we also be proud to be Filipino? BAM!

Of the time I took on the Heroes of Newerth (Myx Mag Article, Unedited Version)

Who hasn’t heard of DotA?! It’s the game that has groups of intense players shouting and laughing in their favorite computer shop tambayan. It’s the game that has your crush glued to the PC at 3 in the morning while you wait for his reply to your “Matutulog ka na?” text message!

Now think DotA with better graphics and less hassle! Let‘s welcome the Heroes of Newerth! Even the name is more appealing. Really. DotA or HoN? DotA might sound more astig. But HoN sounds malambing even when it’s all about killing creeps and ambushing heroes!

HoN is almost exactly like DotA. It’s a clash of two teams with each member playing a hero with its own mix of special skills and powers. The main goal is still to get to the opposing team’s base and destroy their source of life! Along the way, you’ll have to stomp on some tiny creeps, destroy towers that throw massive boulders at you, and, of course, kill each other’s heroes! Doesn’t that sound exciting?

For a noob like me, though, I find HoN much simpler and easier to play. I don’t need to remember as many keys and I don’t have to hold down the ALT button to see how much life people have left! The items and recipes are categorized and are easier to find and sort through so I no longer have to bug a teammate to ask what I should be buying with my earned gold. While playing HoN, I was able to focus more on my hero – gaining experience, killing our enemies, and escaping when they decide to pick on a noob like me!

The hero I chose to start off with was Pestilence – a purple hornet that keeps flapping his wings. He’s based on DotA hero Slardar so their special skills are the same. I tend to like heroes that can stun enemies, stopping them in their tracks! It’s great for a noob because you can stun the enemy to kill him, or to get away when he’s trying to kill you! Pestilence also has the ability to increase its movement speed. Again, you can use this to chase an enemy down or escape when you know he’s a godlike HoN addict out to get you.

Another hero I tried was the Electrician and he’s unique to HoN! He’s a bit more difficult to use. Like Pestilence, he can stun a target. The problem is, he’s automatically pulled towards the stunned target so it’s really more of an offensive stun. For defense, Electrician can create a shield around himself when he is being attacked. He can also shock enemies to make them slower or shock teammates to make them quicker!

From the two heroes, I’d definitely stick to Pestilence. His stun covers the area around him so he can immobilize more than one hero at once, as opposed to Electrician who can only target one hero at a time. I found that Pestilence was easier to use so I recommend beginners like me to try him out while getting used to the game!

When asked if I’d rather play DotA or HoN, I’d stick with HoN. DotA is a little more complex. Although, I think if I play HoN a little more, I’d be better at DotA, too! HoN’s graphics are also much better. Plus, you don’t have to feel bad for being a beginner! You can join games online that are specially created for noobies. You can practice all you want with fellow beginners without shame! But I think even die-hard godlike DotA players would enjoy HoN. It’s easier to play through the internet and you can challenge people from all over the world with less hassle. Plus, you build on your own ranking so you’re constantly challenged to do better and win more games.

The only problem I find with HoN is that not everyone can play it. It’s currently in its Beta stage and only a number of people have accounts that they may or may not decide to share. But if you have any gamer friends, try and persuade them to lend you their account just so you can try it! Don’t worry, though! Once HoN is released, you can purchase an account and play all you want! Who knows? Maybe you’ll even see me in game! Or better yet… Go gaming with your crush at 3 in the morning!